I Have A Fear of Canned Biscuits

It's true, I'm scared of canned biscuits. Or more specifically, I'm scared of opening the canned biscuits. Weird huh? I have googled it and it turns out I'm not the only one who has this irrational fear. But that doesn't make it any less embarassing. I guess it's the anticipation that gets to me. Kind of like when someone threatens to pop a balloon. The loud noise doesn't scare me, but I get startled by it and so knowing it's coming and not know exactly when I'm going to be startled makes me anxious. I guess that's the best way to describe it. I'm not really scared of canned biscuits... they just make me anxious. I'm anxious about canned biscuits. Crap, that doesn't make it sound any better at all.

Today is the "Thriller"est day of them all

27 years ago today, Dec. 1, 1982, was the day that Michael Jackson released a little album called "Thriller". Man, that means I am old. I was 12 when the album dropped. And when I say album, I literally mean a vinyl record. Remember those things? Digital music is so clean and convenient but I gotta be honest... I miss the sound of static from a needle on a record. Seriously. But not as much as I miss Michael Jackson. Not just the Michael Jackson that died earlier this year, but the Michael Jackson who used to create music and videos and perfomances that would stop you in your tracks. And the Thriller album is where he first established himself as the "King of Pop". I can actually remember almost every scene of his "Billie Jean", "Beat It" and "Thriller" videos. They are 3 of the best videos ever made. Best videos ever made.

Woah, I almost had a Kanye moment there. Lol. Anyway, I know most people these days aren't fans of Michael. But if you grew up in the middle of the Thriller phenomenom, you'd have a much better understanding. The album flipped open to reveal a picture of Michael lying down in a white suit, propped up on his elbow looking into the camera sorta shyly and petting a baby tiger. I pinned the actual record jacket open on my wall like it was a centerfold. I still love that picture. Crap, now I gotta go find an image of it to post here.

In the meantime, watch the Thriller video. It seriously is a huge piece of musical history.

The American Music Awards (live blog)

Another awards show. Woot! I love these things. This one started off with Janet Jackson doing an 8 minute performance of some of her biggest hits. I love her dance moves, though I will say her outfit was a bit too baggy tonight. But she's a joy to watch. I once drove from Missouri to Denver, CO just to watch Janet in concert and then turn around and drive home. I wish she would come out with a new album.

Okay, looks like Paula Abdul is hosting the show? When she first started speaking the mic wasn't working but they quickly got that fixed. She's only been speaking a few minutes, but so far she doesn't sound like she's either drunk or high like she sometimes does. We'll see if that lasts. She just announced the Black Eyed Peas have won the first award of the night.

Rascall Flatts win for the 4th year in a row. Then Daughtery performs. Now Shakira is on stage. I don't care for the song that much, but I like the performance. Does that make sense? Lol.

Now honestly there's a bunch of boring stuff going on. Some chicks speaking Spanish, Keith Urban singing a song, blah, blah, blah.

REBA! Reba is talking. I love Reba. She gets to introduce Kelly Clarkson, who she is great friends with in real life. I bet it's no coincedence that she is introducing Kelly. I believe they became friends after doing a CMT Crossroads together. And if you didn't see it, you should. In fact, I love almost all of the Crossroads specials they do.

Now Snoop Dogg is on stage, making a joke about getting high. Go figure. Lol. They are announcing the Pop/Rock Female artist and the award goes to... Taylor Swift. Anyone surprised? I'm not. Taylor Swift is going to take over the world.

Ooh, Jay Z is on. Gotta stop typing and listen. Ah, that was amazing. Great song made greater by the absence of Kanye West. Jay Z can do no wrong. And he's dressed so snazzy. I really like Alicia Keys also, she has an awesome voice. But I do have to say that in the outfit she's wearing tonight she looks like she has the chest of a 12 year old boy.

Black Eyed Peas doing their thing. The kind of music they do is very hard to repeat live because of all the mixing that goes into it. But they do really good live perfomances.

Of course Michael Jackson wins Soul/RB Male. They announce it's his 22nd AMA award. Jermaine Jackson accepted the award on his behalf. I always was and always will be a huge fan of Michael. I have no issue with the fact that he won this award (even though everyone knows it's only because he's no longer with us). But I am tired of seeing Jermaine. Nobody ever saw Jermaine until after Michael passed away, now suddenly he's everywhere talking about how much he and his family loved Michael. I'm sick of seeing it. It's just my opinion, but I feel like he and a few other Jackson family members are using Michael's death as a way of getting publicity and money. Of course, I don't believe that of Janet. I've always been a fan of hers and she has her own celebrity that is not based on Michael at all.

Another Keith Urban moment that I don't care about. It's not that I don't like country music, because I do. But I've never been a fan of Urban. Now that he's done, moving on to Rhianna. Quite a flashy production going on with her performance. Metal and spikes everywhere. Which doesn't bother me, but her outfit kind of does. I don't care for the stripey jumpsuit. But maybe it's just me. The song was good. The lights shining from her spikey shoulder pads was a pretty cool effect. She's definitely changed her persona from when she first burst on the scene years ago. She started out so bubbly and innocent and has slowly showed us that she can actually be sort of edgy and dark. And guess what? I am pretty sure I prefer the edgy dark side of her.

Okay, back to country. Rascall Flatts introduces Carrie Underwood. I like this chick. Now I must admit that when she won American Idol I was actually voting for Bo Bice. But obviously I was wrong and I will openly admit it. Carrie is awesome and I really enjoy her songs and seeing her perform. She's really spicing up the country genre. Especially with the outfit she's wearing tonight. Lol. I'm glad Carrie won Idol and I'm glad she has proven herself as a true celebrity. Her success is not based on her winning, it's based on the fact that she makes good musical choices and sings her freaking heart out. Amazing voice.

Oh boy, Lady Gaga is taking the stage now. This should be interesting. Yep, it's interesting already. You know I gotta give her credit... whether you enjoy her or you don't enjoy her you are garaunteed never to forget her. She leaves an impression on you and that's a definite way to achieve fame. So far it's a fairly normal performance (if you ignore the outfits her and her dancers are wearing), not nearly as crazy as some of her other stuff I've seen. Oh no, I spoke too soon. Now she's smashing through a pane of glass with her microphone stand so she can sit and play a burning piano. You know, like you do. I'm impressed, that's real fire with real smoke. And I'm sure she's got real hairspray on, scary. Now she's breaking bottles of liquid on the keyboard. Seriously, there's always a show when Gaga is around. You will never be bored watching her. Ooooh, fireballs are now shooting forth from the piano. Okay, song is over and no one got burned. A success!

Man, there are so many commercials. I'm waiting to see Adam Lambert and it's taking forever. After the break it's Mary J. Blige. You know, Mary is one of those fantastic artists that for some reason just doesn't get much mainstream recognition. Seriously, the woman is amazing but she's not someone that most people are familiar with. Her R&B status seems to somehow keep her off of the Top 40 stations most of the time and I think that's a shame. I highly recommend everyone pay a bit more attention to Miss Blige. She's a legend. Seriously.

Now it's time to find out who won the T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist Award which is determined by the fans who are voting via text during the show. The winner is... Gloriana? I'm ashamed to admit I've never heard of her, or them, or whatever. Okay, it's apparently a "them" because it's a group. A country group. Who just stated that they've been on tour with Taylor Swift, so I guess that explains it. I'm wasn't joking earlier when I said Taylor could rule the world. Everything she touches turns to gold.

Uh... wtf? Jennifer Lopez is doing a song. Why? I have no problem with Jennifer per se, but I don't consider her a music artist. And I also am not one of those people who thinks she's beautiful. Would I like to look like her instead of me? Hellz yeah. But she's nothing spectacular. And she's only a fair singer. Of course, she can act out her songs really well. In my opinion, that whole thing was pointless. But I'm sure someone somewhere enjoyed it.

Whitney Houston. Wow. Didn't think she'd ever make it back to singing. She looks a bit different, but then again she's quite a bit older and has been through some rough stuff. There were some moist eyes during her song. Not mine though, while Whitney was on I was busy taking video of Takara (our cat) nodding off while sitting up. It was so cute, her head would fall back and she'd wake up, sit back up and then fall asleep all over again. Okay, guess I better get back to paying attention to the TV.

Favorite Country Female Artist. I love all 3 of the nominees, but I'm gonna guess Taylor will win. Yep, called it.

Now, the moment of truth. Favorite Pop/Rock Male goes to... Michael Jackson. He now has 23 AMA awards which has just broken the record for the most AMA awards won by any one artist. I am not upset he won this award, it's to be expected. But I am a huge fan of Eminem and I also love me some T.I. So I was gonna be happy no matter what. Oh great, Jermaine again.

Alicia Keys sings next. This is the first time I've heard this song. It doesn't stand out as awesome, but I'm sure it will grow on me. NOW WE'RE TALKING. Eminem is on the stage. I know most people will think badly of me, but I love this man. He's an absolute musical genius. Are his lyrics appropriate for most people? No. But he knows how to use his shitty life to make himself successful. The guy can spit like no other. Seriously the tempo and cadence of his rhymes is just mindblowing to me. I love it, I don't care what words are coming out as long as he's the one rapping them. I don't care for 50 Cent as much, but he did already tonight.

Now Timbaland and Nelly Furtado mix a little bit of Thriller into their performance. But then, that's what Timbaland does. Mix it up baby! Speaking of mixing it up, Green Day hasn't really mixed it up at all (awesome segway, wasn't it?) but they are still cranking out the hits after 8 albums. That's some major staying power. I love the song "21 Guns".

Alright, moving on to Rap/Hip Hop Male. Eminem, Jay-Z, and T.I. are all on my list of favorites. I was hoping Em would win it, but I'm not at all surprised that Jay-Z did. His newest album "Blueprint 3" is amazing. Wonder when I'm finally going to get to see Adam Lambert?

Oh look, it's little Ryan Seacrest. He gets to announce the Artist of the Year. Bet it's Michael, whaddayabet? I would be happy with Eminem, Michael or Taylor. And I really like Kings of Leon, I just don't quite think they deserve this one yet. Okay, the winner is... Taylor Swift. Wow, I'm surprised. Not at all disappointed. Just completely surprised. She's so gracious and humble during her acceptance speeches. What a sweetheart.

OMG. It's finally time for Adam. Debuting his first single. Hope it's good. Um, starting off a bit slow and scary. Now it's kicked in and is not at all what I expected. Oh crap, this is not what I wanted to see. I am disappointed. He's grinding his junk into everyone and the whole thing is too vulgar to me. And remember, I love Eminem so I am not delicate. But this is gross. Seriously. He looks weird, the song is weird and the vulgarity is way over the top. Poor Adam. He's got such potential to be somebody, but I'm not sure he's on the right path at the moment. He can still scream, of course, but I don't know if that's gonna be enough to save him from what I'm offically calling a failure.

Show over, unfortunately ending on a bad performance in my opinion. I can't wait to see how my review of Adam compares to all the gossip blogs and entertainment news writers. In fact, I think I'll go look that up now. Peace out!

My Cup Runneth Over

I was actually handed this vanilla shake at McDonalds the other day. As I looked at it, sitting there oozing all over the place, I thought to myself "you have got to be kidding me... I am not touching that nasty thing. I hope she plans on cleaning that up". Seriously, the lid won't even fit on it.

But as I looked up at the employee who had made it, I saw her smile and say "I accidentally overfilled it. Looks like you get extra today."

There's a lesson for you on how differently two people can perceive the same thing.

The 2009 VMA Awards

Trying something new... gonna live blog my thoughts during the 2009 VMA's. Here we go:

The show is starting with a tribute to Michael Jackson. Madonna is introducing the tribute and talking about Michael's life, telling stories about her interactions with him. It's a sad beginning. The crowd is subdued. Madonna looks different, took me a minute to recognize her. Her speech is very touching, she looks like she has been crying. I am close to crying myself.

The entire place goes dark as Madonna finishes talking. On the jumbo screen various Michael Jackson video clips begin to play and live dancers appear on stage to recreate the dances wearing various outfits that are Michael's classic style. And then Janet hits the stage as Scream plays. The crowd is going nuts. Beyonce looks like she's meeting a celebrity for the first time when she spots Janet.

Now the show kicks off for real and Katy Perry sings "We Will Rock You" as Russell Brand rises up out of the stage wearing a top hat and looking sexy. Seriously, the guy is HOT. And the english accent just makes him hotter. He's wearing a version of a suit with "skinny pants" and I'm liking them. Of course now he's talking about the "sack of magic and wand" he keeps "tucked up in these delicious trousers" and Taylor Swift is looking seriously embarassed.

First award is up - Best Female Video. Shakira and Taylor Lautner (Jacob from Twilight) are presenting. They cut to show Lady Gaga in the audience and she is looking like a freak. Seriously. I'm embarassed for her. Anyway, she's up against Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Kelly Clarkson, Katy Perry & Pink. And the winner is... Taylor Swift. Was there ever any doubt? Nope. I am fairly sure she will win every award she's been nominated for tonight. My brother jokes around that Taylor Swift could easily take over the world and I completely believe him.
OMG, Kanye West just crashed the stage and stole the mic from Taylor in the middle of her speech to say that he believes Beyonce had the best music video. That was the most douchebag thing I've ever seen. I already knew the man was a major asshole. He has always managed to make a scene at awards shows. But to take somebody else's moment in a category that has nothing to do with him is worse than him just being a dick about not winning one he was nominated for. I love the guys music but I don't think it's worth listening to anymore. He's proved on multiple ocasions that he's not deserving of any respect. Taylor didn't even finish her speech. She just looked so mortified. I feel bad for both her and Beyonce that this happened. What a way to start the show.

After the break, Russell Brand reminds everyone that "we are here to love each other in Michael Jackson's honor". He is referring to the Kanye scene, but doesn't bring any special attention to it by addressing it directly.

Up next, the award for Best Rock Video and Jack Black comes on stage with huge fake muscled arm and a tshirt that says Brutal Legend. Green Day takes the award away from Coldplay, Fall Out Boy, Kings of Leon & Paramore.

Next up is Taylor Swift perfoming live from the subway and then coming out onto the street in front of Radio City Music Hall. I believe this performance was pre-recorded, so there's no evidence of her trouble with Kanye a few moments ago. Next performance after the break is Lady Gaga. This chick is weird. Very weird. And one of her male dancers is wearing a lace thong over his face. But I like her music and even though it's not my normal taste in performances, there's no doubt that it is entertaining. She even began bleeding profusely from her bra right after she banged on the piano. And now she's hanging from the ceiling, spinning slowly and appearing dead. Hmm... oh good, it's over. (Don't tell anyone, but I kinda liked her performance in a way).

Now we're to the Best Pop Video and it's Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Britney Spears, Cobra Starship, Wisin Y Yandel (never heard of them or their song) going head to head. And the winner is... Britney Spears. Wow, I'm kind of shocked that it wasn't Taylor.

Green Day performs next and they start inviting the crowd up on stage. Not sure if anyone realized they were going to do that or not, but there were no major injuries so it all worked out.

Then we get an extended trailer of the new Twilight saga movie "New Moon". Love, love, love these books. The movies are decent and the new one looks good. But the books are where it's at.

Beyonce takes the stage with the next performance. I have a huge girl crush on Jennifer Aniston and believe that Jen is the most beautiful person in the world, but Beyonce runs a tight second place. She is absolutely gorgeous. And she's got moves that make the men squirm in their seats.

P. Diddy comes out next with some chick I don't care enough about to remember and presents Best Male Video. This one has Eminem, Jay Z, T.I., Kanye & Neyo battling it out. As P. Diddy is running through the script before the nominees are announced, he says Kanye's name and the crowds goes crazy booing. No love for douchebag Kanye. And T.I. wins the award. I was voting for Eminem, but as long as it wasn't douchebag Kayne, I am happy. I actually got much love for T.I. too, so it worked out.

Jennifer Lopez presents the award for Best Hip Hop video. Eminem beats out Flo Rida, Kanye West, Jay Z, and Asher Roth. Eminem takes the stage to accept his award and thank the fans. He definitely looks a bit older, but I still think he's cute as hell. I'm a huge Em fan.

And now my man Marshall is on stage with Tracy Morgan to present the Best New Artist Award. The nominees are Lady Gaga, 3OH!3, Asher Roth, Drake and Kid Cudi. Lady Gaga wins and she is in another, even weirder outfit than earlier. She's almost wearing a red lace dress (it's like see through) and she's wearing a red lace mask and a huge feathered hat. Halfway through her speech, she does take off the mask and hat and throws them down on the stage so she can speak clearly. Then she tells us that her moonman is "for God and the gays."

Pink performs next and while on stage she is blindfolded and steps into a harness which lifts her 30 feet above the crowd. As she's rising, she rips of the blindfold so I'm not sure why it was even put on. But now she's dangling above everyone doing flips and acrobatic tricks while singing "Sober". It should also be noted her that the left side of her body suit is transparent and a pink glittery heart is the only thing hiding her left breasticle from us. They are really doing some major tricks up there in the air and her voice sounds great through it all. I'm impressed. She lands safely on stage and gets a standing ovation.

This brings us to Video of The Year and we're back to the major names. Beyonce, Eminem, Lady Gaga, Kanye West and Britney Spears. Luckily, Kanye didn't win this one either. Beyonce takes home the award for "Single Ladies". She got up on stage and immediately asked for Taylor Swift to come out and reclaim her moment that had been stolen from her. Beyonce didn't even give her own speech. Very classy Beyonce, I really appreciate that. Taylor finally gets to give her speech and thank everyone she wanted to for her earlier award.

The big finale for the night is Jay Z. They're making a huge production of his arrival and he gives us an amazing performance. He was joined by Alicia Keys who has a big, amazing voice.

As the show is wrapping up, we see a trailer for the movie being released in October that is Micael Jackson's rehearsal footage from the huge London tour he was preparing for. I will go see that movie. The man was amazing. I love you Michael.

My Brother, The Creep

Last night, at around 10:00 pm, someone knocked on my front door. I was in my bedroom playing video games on the computer and watching MTV2 on the TV. I was vaguely aware that I had heard Scott walking down the hallway sometime in the last 30 minutes or so, but I was pretty sure I heard him say he was going to bed. So I ignored the knock, whoever it is can just go away. I'm not interested. About a minute later, the doorbell rings. I glance at my watch again... yep, it's 10:03. I'm not answering the door for some stranger this late at night. I lean around the corner of my doorway and look at Scott's bedroom door. His door is shut, the lights appear to be off. He's definitely in bed. But he hasn't been there very long, maybe he's still awake. So I give him a loud whisper "Scott, someone's at the door". No answer. Oh well, back to ignoring the stranger at the door.

Another minute passes, more knocking and another ring on the doorbell. I tiptoe quietly down the hall, careful not to make any noise. I sneak up to the door and peek through the peephole. Our porch light isn't on, so all I can see is a shadowy figure. I stare through the peephole for several minutes. I'll admit I was a little freaked out. Especially when this shadowy figure rattled the doorknob. I didn't want to turn on the porch light because I didn't want anyone to know I was standing there, so I just continued staring. The figure turned around and I could see some sort of writing or image on his back. This made me think "what if it's a police officer who needs to tell us something".

By this time it's been almost 10 minutes since the first knock on the door. I reach over, flip on the porch light and crack the door open slightly so I can see who's there. Imagine my confusion to find Scott standing on the porch looking slightly aggrevated. "What the crap is going on?" I ask as he pushes his way inside. Apparently when he laid down to go to sleep there was a very loud frog right outside next to his wall or window, so he had grabbed a flashlight and went outside around the house to scare it away. Locking himself out in the process. It was hilarious. Here I was afraid to open the door and the shadowy figure I was being creeped out by was my own brother. He's lucky I finally braved up and opened the door. He might have had to sleep with that frog otherwise.

I Think I'll Wait For A Sale

Looks like WalMart is trying to increase their profits again.